Discipline at Home

Children are learning how to behave and need parents and caregivers to help them during that process. Because they are always learning, they will misbehave.

Psychological studies show that behaviors are more effectively shaped by rewarding positive behaviors than by punishing negative ones. Spanking may have the short-term effect of stopping an undesired behavior, but it may have long-term consequences. Spanking by parents or others may cause harm by teaching children to use violence and by showing them that those who should love and protect them have the right to physically hurt them.

The best way for parents to prevent challenging behaviors is to support positive behaviors. How can they do this?

1. Use any opportunity as a teachable moment to talk about simple rules about behavior
2. Put those rules into action
3. Follow through with praise for following instructions or consequences for disobeying

When a child misbehaves:

• Let them know what you expect with simple statements. “Please put away your toys right now.”
• Give warnings and reminders, without threats. “When you put away your toys, then you can go outside with your friends.”
• Tell a child what to do rather than what not to do. “Please use a soft voice”, instead of “Stop yelling!”

While there are no fixed rules of discipline for all situations, parents can do some of the following:

• Ignore young children’s behavior that is irritating but not dangerous—e.g., whining, swearing, or having tantrums.
• Take away privilege when a child misbehaves once a child is old enough (around 4 or 5 years old) to understand the consequences of an action
• Let consequences teach lessons as long as the child’s safety is not at risk
• Timeout is a method that some families use to give children (and adults) a short cooling-off period